I have a long list of "marriage thoughts" I always mean to write and never get around to. George and I tied the knot in December 2009 so I've got solid
1.5 years of marriage experience, which is 1.5 years more than my about-to-be-married couples, making me incredibly wise, right? In any case, there are some things I've learned about being married and I'd like to share with the engaged crowd. So here's marriage tip #1:
Keep your maiden name somewhere.
I was very torn about the take-his-name or don't-take-his-name dilemma. On the one hand, I really liked my name before (Amber Lupin) - it's just so symmetrical and it also creates great anagrams (Brian Plume, for instance). On the other hand, George really wanted me to take his name. We once had this conversation, which convinced me to do it:
George: "I want you to take my name."
Me: "Yeah, but it's all 'I belong to you and macho and stuff.'"
George: "No, it's like we're family."
So, dammit, if that was the answer then... yes, I will take your name. At some point, it was suggested to me (probably on the internet) that you could ditch your middle name and stick the last name in there. Brilliant! I used to have a Nicole in the middle there, but it wasn't a name I ever identified with. So out it went and now I'm officially Amber Lupin Wilkie. And this constantly helps me get out of annoying situations where I might otherwise have to spend a lot of time explaining why I need to take Amber Lupin's stuff when my name is Amber Wilkie.
Because it happens
all the time. Imagine how many rewards programs, credit cards, deposits, automated bills, shipping invoices etc. etc. etc. you have already filled out with your maiden name. If you either keep it, or switch it to your middle name, you'll save yourself a ton of hassle. Even the sternest people (maybe not TSA but the post office recently) will accept your old last name if it's your middle name. I'm so glad I kept my name somewhere and highly recommend it to ladies that want to save themselves some grief.
And because this is a damn photo blog, not a rambling nonsense blog (well, okay, I guess it's both), here's a photo of me and George taken recently by
Tara Welch when I was second shooting for her. It's a miracle any of these came out because it was hot, muggy and I was in my "shooting a wedding" clothes.
I'm going to have the most beautiful wedding to show you tomorrow, but wanted to elaborate on a scene from yesterday. I had my feet up on the window sill in my hotel room here in Seattle (editing said wedding) and noticed the lovely light.
This is my absolute favorite kind of light to shoot in: backlighting. Now if you're not a photographer, you probably think it's kinda silly to have a favorite light. But I bet your photographer friends (and mine) have a favorite light, too.
What I love about backlighting is that it creates this wonderful bright rim around the subject (here, my feet) that makes it stand out from the background. This is especially effective if the subject is in front of something dark, like in the first photo below of 
A couple more examples. From my shoot at 
From 
From Aimee & Richard's engagement session at Dumbarton Oaks:
I hope this was useful to someone, if not, I hope you liked looking at my backlit photos! They are normally some of my favorites from any session.
I'm very happy today because it's the first time in five months that I can eat on both sides of my mouth. I got my permanent crown in after what seems like endless dentist visits and drilling, not to mention the beginning of this journey that started with soul-crushing pain. See that shadow on the far right tooth? That's not supposed to be there. But now, I can rest and eat easy and it's smooth sailing in toothland... until the next disaster.
But sitting in the dentist's office, I had a thought about trust. See the last time I was there, the dental assistant (there might be a more appropriate term for this person, I don't know so I'll just go with this) put in my temporary crown. The dentist left the room after all the drilling and things and she fitted the temporary crown, drilling it down in places, checking to make sure it was a good fit, and then finally gluing the thing in my mouth with adhesive. The last time I had this done (I really have terrible dental health - not for lack of brushing/flossing/hoping!), the dentist did all this work. So when the dental assistant was going through the process, I started getting nervous. What if she screws it up? She's not a full-fledged dentist - what if she doesn't catch something that the dentist would see? What if what if what if?
And then I calmed down considerably when I realized that I have complete trust in my dentist. There's absolutely no way he would let her do this alone unless he had seen her do it supervised and she had excelled. I have complete faith that my dentist would never, ever leave her to do something important unless he trusted her, in the same way that I trust him (I have an excellent, wonderful dentist).
Naturally, I quickly related this to photography. A photographer's client must trust them to get the shot or else the whole thing will be a disaster. If you hire someone to be your wedding photographer, you need to have total faith in them to do their thing while you completely ignore the fact that photos are being taken. If a photographer and her client can have that kind of relationship, magical things can happen. There is nothing like having someone direct your photography to crush your creativity (far more often an issue with wedding guests than with anyone in the bridal party). I don't really have anything deep to say about it, except to trust your photographer. If you hired him and you love his work and you all get along great, just take a deep breath, relax, and trust him to do his job.
For me, I'm not shooting a wedding today. Today, I'm going to eat on both sides of my mouth.